I bathed myself in process… i refused the mechanistic planning… i gave myself to Spirit… i was long tired of the longing and the unforgiving slog of resurrecting “faith”...
So i sat down in the ashes again to start with little coals to call my own… with little breath i blew… nothing… i entered into nothingness and found Spirit staring at me… with a knowing look instigating breath work… with Spirit breath in my heart lungs i drew coals to embers and then to flame… the process…
I bathed myself in process… to daydream and watch the falling away of flesh and bone… to stolen dreams and dashing of self knowledge and exuberance of passion for creativity… i was long tired of looking at the naysayers at the door… and my weakness to push past the self hatred stemming from fears of failure and even the need for recompense… so with the waters most frigid i gave myself to process…
I bathed myself in process… to embrace the connections with Spirit before birth… to remember the conversation of prospect of living in this womb of earth mother… to feel the pain and exhilaration of process… to feel the loss of belonging and then the return to living in process of that ever present connection to the all and to Spirit… to remember place… to hear, perceive and render the search for purpose and only to realize it in process…
I bathed myself in process… not knowing future… not needing past… only finding now the entanglement of the now… and sitting with self in quiet knowing… and even in that state finding self traveling and moving in places some call ethereal… to finding something bigger than self but also a part of Spirit… being separate in intension but necessary to the larger whole called Creator… Creator’s breath… one in the same… both necessary to each other… in order to be the whole… and always in process… cognition… a knowing… waves to a shore… a consciousness… a loving process…
Comments
Post a Comment